Twice in my life I have seen a new couple interacting together and just knew they were going to be together forever. I'm not saying that other couples aren't going to last, or that those couples are perfect. It's just that they're perfect for each other.
I was asking myself the other day, exactly one month since I last texted him, why I just can't seem to stop crying myself to sleep at night. And I replied, "Well, it's because I thought we were forever." And it hit me. For the first, and only time in my life, I had had that certainty about us. I had no doubt we were meant to be.
It's the closest thing to a Soulmate I can explain, or that I've experienced. And while I've been slowly, very slowly feeling better...I'm not sure that feeling will ever go away.
What's worse is thinking about all of this at work and having one of my cashiers just suddenly, and quite randomly, say that she thinks we'll end up together one day. I don't know if wanting to believe that is hope, or desperation.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Hard to Believe
It's been two months since I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. Full of purpose and completely sure of what I was doing.
It's been one month since it all ended.
It's been one month since it all ended.
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Not Impressed
So far, 2016 feels like the Year of No.
Can I have a close female friend for the first time in my life? No
Can I finally have an amazing man in my life? No.
Can I go to Vegas for Star Trek's 50th anniversary? No.
Can I use my all-in-one printer/scanner on this laptop? No.
Can I have a perfect check-up, as I always have? No.
Single Female Friend has dropped me. She did so some time in January, I guess, though I kept trying and trying until February. I finally gave up only a matter of days before Dating Site Guy ended things. I lost 95% of my social life within less than a week.
Around the same time, I realized that it just wasn't financially feasible for me to attend the big 50th in Vegas this year. In fact, it would take several thousand dollars to afford it, and at the very most, I had $1200 to work with.
I wrote and drew a comic inspired by the friends who have been keeping tabs on me lately. I wanted to scan it, and give it a real comic treatment, but then I found out that my AIO is no longer supported at all...it's too old. I would laugh, but it bummed me out.
I had my physical last week. They always say that "no news is good news" when it comes to your lab work. I know that sometimes they still call, just to let you know everything looks okay. They usually even say that, if they leave a voicemail. So when I got the message that said, "Please call us back about your lab results"...I was a little worried. It turns out that everything else is great, well within the normal levels and healthy...except my thyroid. It looks like it's under-active. They want to run more blood work to be sure, but I looked it up on the Mayo Clinic website and their list of symptoms...well, I've had 80-90% of them in the last couple of years. Including depression. I almost hope I DO need medication for this. Maybe it can help me.
Can I have a close female friend for the first time in my life? No
Can I finally have an amazing man in my life? No.
Can I go to Vegas for Star Trek's 50th anniversary? No.
Can I use my all-in-one printer/scanner on this laptop? No.
Can I have a perfect check-up, as I always have? No.
Single Female Friend has dropped me. She did so some time in January, I guess, though I kept trying and trying until February. I finally gave up only a matter of days before Dating Site Guy ended things. I lost 95% of my social life within less than a week.
Around the same time, I realized that it just wasn't financially feasible for me to attend the big 50th in Vegas this year. In fact, it would take several thousand dollars to afford it, and at the very most, I had $1200 to work with.
I wrote and drew a comic inspired by the friends who have been keeping tabs on me lately. I wanted to scan it, and give it a real comic treatment, but then I found out that my AIO is no longer supported at all...it's too old. I would laugh, but it bummed me out.
I had my physical last week. They always say that "no news is good news" when it comes to your lab work. I know that sometimes they still call, just to let you know everything looks okay. They usually even say that, if they leave a voicemail. So when I got the message that said, "Please call us back about your lab results"...I was a little worried. It turns out that everything else is great, well within the normal levels and healthy...except my thyroid. It looks like it's under-active. They want to run more blood work to be sure, but I looked it up on the Mayo Clinic website and their list of symptoms...well, I've had 80-90% of them in the last couple of years. Including depression. I almost hope I DO need medication for this. Maybe it can help me.
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