Mr. Know-It-All

We all have that friend. The one who always knows better than us. Always. The one that truly means well, but also truly thinks he can solve all your troubles if you'd only do as he says.

The guy I know met his now-wife online, after ten years of online dating sites and all of that. Therefore, he's decided that's what I need to do. Well, I am on a dating site--Trekkies Dating. And I've had the same amount of luck on there as I've had on other dating sites. Which would be nothing. A few messages exchanged in the last year. One completely inappropriate conversation that I shut down very fast. And one conversation started by someone too far away who seems decent, so I replied...and didn't get any reply back.

It's hard putting yourself out there, no matter the technique you choose. It's even harder when you've been rejected, Friend-zoned, lead on, or flat out mocked. It's hard when you know that you're supposedly what geeky guys are looking for, but they never seem to want you.

So to have Mr. Know-It-All turn every idle conversation into a debate on dating and why everything I'm doing is wrong, can be aggravating. Infuriating. He will question me, argue, debate, harangue...then say, "I don't get it. You're so cute, funny, smart and geeky. There must be something else wrong with you."

Yes. That's right. His conclusion is that I'm only single because there must be something wrong with me.

Thank God he let me know. I mean, I could have been living a life that was totally wrong and all messed up because I wasn't following Mr. Know-It-All's guidelines to dating!! Holy snot, I'm glad he lets me know so often!!

According to him, I need to join a ton of groups and clubs and expand my circle of people I know, because that increases my statistical chances at meeting someone. I also need to unlock my FB, and not be friends-only because a friend of his wants to email me. (Non-friends can email me, it simply goes into another folder. Also, his friend did email me and it was a stumbling, rambling mess of misspellings that longed for some punctuation and I am not replying. He used the wrong "their", okay. No. No no. NO.) I flat out told him that my FB is set up to be for my friends, and people I have entrusted with a glimpse into my life. I am not going to allow some complete stranger into that. I must meet people face to face and judge them to be worthy (with the rare exception, like those who can be vouched for by others I do know.)

At any rate, we went around and around and around until I was quite annoyed with him. Especially when he ended the entire chat with the same conclusion. "Must be something wrong with you."

I vented to Second Guy about that and he told me there's nothing wrong with me, except I tell really bad jokes. I can accept that. I love a terrible pun, I admit it. But the important thing is that someone closer to my age that has found me attractive in the past says there's nothing wrong with me.

My conclusion: Mr. Know-It-All lucked out finding a lady in his searches. Because if I followed his advice, and ended up meeting someone like him, I might be in jail for assault. Also, and most importantly, I am freaking awesome. There is nothing wrong with me except my own insecurities sometimes. And anyone who does know anything will agree.

Don't lie to be "nice"

"If I were single, I'd totally be after you..."

Guys, never EVER say this to your single female friends. Especially if there is any form of attraction between you. Because guess what, if you become single, she's going to remember that conversation and there's going to be a stupid spark of hope. Even though she knows better. It's there. And it hurts when you give the "friends speech" and say you just need time and some space to get your head on right...which also hints at maybe more.

But ultimately, when you do start dating, and your single female friend isn't the choice...well...ouch.

So when Second Guy and I were making some tentative plans to hang out yesterday, I still had that far-off spark of hope. I wasn't holding my breath, as I've said, but the attraction was still there. We have a lot of fun together. But he's indecisive and frustrating as hell, too. So when he said on Friday that he couldn't hang out, I was fine with it. I turned the day into a Me Day. Went to the movies, took a bubble bath, shaved my legs, read, watched Netflix, annoyed the cat...

Then I get on Facebook today and find out that the reason Second Guy couldn't hang out was because he had a date. It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it did. And it pissed me off. And then sent me a load of self-loathing because, geez, why would I have been his first choice. Oh, and when did he decide he was ready to date again? Did I give him too much space? Too much time?

And at the same time, why the hell do I care??

Oh. Right. Hope. Stupid stupid hope.

and PMS.

I think I need another cup of coffee.