2014 approaches

As the year comes to a close, I find myself thinking back over it all.

How clichéd. But true.

I look at the last year and I see my triumphs and my failures and I wonder what I can do differently. I see new friendships and potential relationships. I see chances taken, and moments of heartache. I see some still have potential, but a lack of interest on their side.

I am at peace lately. I think a great weight has been lifted from my soul recently. I finally feel like I am where I need to be. I am who I need to be. I am stronger and more ready for everything in my life than I have ever been before. I am really and truly ready for the new year and all the promise it holds.

Which is why I set a goal for myself that, frankly, scares the hell out of me. I want to have a third date. I want a first date to go so well, he asks for a second. And then the second is lovely, so we agree to a third. This would be a miracle for many reasons. I haven't been asked on a date in over a decade, and I've never had a second.

I have absolutely no idea how to make this happen. In the end, it doesn't have much to do with me. It has to do with "him"--with the men out there. They're going to have to step up. I haven't had any luck with the online dating site(s), ever, so I'm certainly not planning on using them, or anything like it. I have a friend who continuously pushes me towards local giant singles events, but that seems like a waste of time--I would merely become the wallflower, completely unnoticed yet again, always overlooked. I don't know. I'm more social now than I've been in years, if not ever, and I'm out there. Some would say I need to be even more out there and really push myself into circles.

But that's not me. I don't want to meet someone under what I feel would be false pretenses. I don't want to be somewhere I would normally never be, acting like someone I am not. And I don't want to date just anyone. He's gotta be someone I actually want to date. That should go without saying, but some women do date guys just to date guys. But that's not me. Eventually, I want love and forever. That simple.

So, hello 2014, welcome, welcome. Let's see how friendly we can be.